I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize