I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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