is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
