There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize