weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
