you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
