ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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