Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
