Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
