What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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