so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do vagina's smell?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
