I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
