I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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