Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
