I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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