The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
