we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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