she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize