u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
