I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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