my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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