Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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