What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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