you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
