Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
