i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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