so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
