that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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