make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
