After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize