i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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