Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
