How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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