therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
