maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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