He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
