i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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