i think my mom watched the whole time
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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