I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I love you. Go after that dick
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
