You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
