Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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