no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
two words...techno handjob
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
