the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
