Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
