woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My life is pants optional.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
