So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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