There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
