So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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