I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize