she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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