dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
