he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize