Where did you get a picture of my penis
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
home. puking in laundry basket.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize