They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
