Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
