i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
