Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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