dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize